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- I'm so desperate for a girlfriend, what can I do?
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| I'm so desperate for a girlfriend, what can I do? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Aug 17 2010, 12:30 AM (12,905 Views) | |
| + Pelador | Aug 17 2010, 12:30 AM Post #1 |
Crazy Awesome Legend
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I want a girlfriend so badly. Yet I never have any excuse to leave the house. Maybe I should start walking my dog in case there's females my own age who also walk their dogs? I'm not sure there are any suitable females near where I live though. At least none who don't think I'm a lech or a spaz. I can't help having poor social skills and self control  Does anyone have any other suggestions besides dog walking? |
 http://www.youtube.com/user/jonjits | |
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| Wintergreen5000 | Aug 17 2010, 05:27 AM Post #2 |
WCZE
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Well, I think if you just GO outside to wherever more often you're bound to see some females. If you want a girlfriiend, you're going to have to go hunt for her. And when I say hunt, I don't mean for just any girl. I mean you're going to have to initiate yourself. If you want one that fits your wants go get one. |
 
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| dudeguy1992 | Aug 17 2010, 05:34 AM Post #3 |
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Hmmm try online dating or if you have a facebook account add random girls and talk to them. |
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How much must I curse your name And put your beliefs to shame Before you prove yourself And end this life? | |
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Aug 17 2010, 05:41 AM Post #4 |
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Ha. Oh boy. I'll try to help you out though I doubt I'll have much success. For one thing, try not to fall for the textbook stereotypes about women. So many insecure guys tend to do that, sadly. There's really much less to any of these issues you're having than you actually think. The only stereotypes I can think about women (though not all women) that are actually true in most cases, are the ones about how "-they-" love initiative, dominance, energy, tenacity, strength, foundation, charisma, and establishment. But the truth is, who the hell doesn't, you know? And sadly, on the flip side, many women (and men) pay far too close attention to looks. We're all... animals, after all; and the one thing that we shall probably never be civilized enough to conquer any time soon is our instinctive inability to judge one in an unbiased manner while paying absolutely no mind to their facial features and physical presence. We're probably years and years away from getting past that. But in any event, it's sadly true, that if you're not good looking, your chances of being with another good looking person are probably dramatically reduced. However, that does not prevent you from looking your best. As I said in another thread of yours, you need to tidy up and at least show cleanliness, as hygiene is very aesthetically pleasing to anyone, including women. It's the least you can do. Now comes the important part; literally, ten to twenty times more important than anything I've just recently spoke of. It's chemistry. What determines chemistry? Any advice I can give you? Well to be honest, the only thing that can determine chemistry is you, and her, and compatibility. Just those three things. But look. You're just going to have to find somebody right for you, you know? All anybody else can really give you help with is the "approaching" bits. Never force anything. The more of an extrovert and social person you are, the more likely random encounters with any female (AKA any person in general) will be. When the patiently awaited time comes that you strike up a casual conversation with any girl or any person at all, treat them like a friendly face and invite them with a charm that most people wouldn't have the fortitude to even consider. Just keep yourself clean-cut, be a gentleman, be yourself, keep conversation, have a laugh, and do things your way and you should make friends and even "more-than-friends" in no time. Good luck. |
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| Nusu | Aug 17 2010, 05:52 AM Post #5 |
Piccolo Daimao > Piccolo Jr.
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Just go outside in Discoīs, Go Online Dating, You just need some gutīs, Talk with them buy them a drink go dancing, Have fun with them and the important part SPEND time with them, If you have a target donīt let it slip away let yourself go, But donīt stalker wise (O_o). Matter of fact is this you will never get a girl by just standing in a place, Go over there and talk with them tellī em you wanna buy her a drink, Or if she wanna go dancing, Make her the most important women on earth, Be nice to them, Be a nice guy not some macho mush brain with only one word in his mind "SEX", If you just wanna have sex nothing more then go to a hooker.
Edited by Nusu, Aug 17 2010, 05:57 AM.
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Once upon a time, there used to be a signature. Then it got lame, and now I'm out of options for a new one. | |
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Aug 17 2010, 06:12 AM Post #6 |
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I actually really disagree with some of the things that were just said. Try not to make this a huge deal, rather than thinking "Oh shoot I've gotta buy her a drink and do what they do in the movies" and all that. Plus, not every person you talk to is going to be in a bar, especially if you don't visit bars that frequently. Besides, you might not even find the most faithful and responsible person you might be looking for at a bar. You need to learn to make friends first, and generally associate with anyone: that way all of your options will open up by default for obvious reasons. You increase the people you talk to, and obviously you increase the chances of getting intimately involved with someone via more people (women) knowing you. You have to play it conservative and patiently. Truly fruitful and lasting relationships spawn from the foundation of great chemistry and friendship, not "Hey look how cool I am and how I can buy you a drink and my muscles are big and haha stuff." So don't impose as a wannabe, and don't fall into the stereotypes EVERY unsuccessful wining moron does. And just to fill you in; I practice what I preach. I've been interested in ONLY one person for the last 5 years, but I have received nonstop hits and compliments because of extroversion, humor, and just being myself for crying outloud. Just, you know, doing the same things I told you to do... but be yourself and make some friends and acquaintances. That's the important place to start, alright? |
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| * -Zero- | Aug 17 2010, 06:23 AM Post #7 |
Black Knight
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Would a girl even be worth it if she was talking to you because you bought her something? The way I see it, at least in my opinion a girl is more worth it when she doesn't care about money or if you are buying her anything. I'm not exactly the best person when it comes to talking to girls I get shy, I have no confidence, and low self esteem, but I do know things about it, I just can't seem to put them into action. Heres a tip, never show in any way you are desperate. That's a big no, but I'm sure you knew that already. I think someone has already said it, confidence is also key. I've tested online, I've gone to chats for the heck of it and sometimes act unconfident (that even a word? oh well), I get no interest what so ever, then I go to other chats and start typing like an extremely confident person that's when I draw the most interest from everyone. Show no desperation Be Confident Don't be an ***** Be Nice Don't act too mooshy(leave that for when you are deeper in a relationship) Also you can't act like she's the only shot, or that she is the only girl you can get, that goes with not showing you're desperate. Depending on the kind of girl you are looking for many like walks on the beach on the park, watch the sunset. Chances are you arent going on a date right when you meet her, so talk to her, make yourself interesting, get to the point that you get her number, talk to her on the phone, eventually you can end up going on a date, trying to think of something romantic, like a picnic at the park and watch the sun set or something that must be left to your imagination. But first what people tell me and now I'll tell you, you need to make friends with girls and even guys too, doesn't mean you want guys just make friends, it's good practice. This is something I'm working on trying to overcome my shyness and nerves I'm going to put it to the test on this upcoming Tuesday hopefully. |
 Thanks to Kid Buu for the sig! The story where DBZF Members are the characters! DBZF:The Unknown Conspiracy POSITIVE ZERO PRODUCTIONS ZeroGuild Forum! | |
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| ryanson209 | Aug 17 2010, 06:28 AM Post #8 |
MAGICAL GIRLS REPRESENT
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Try dressing up as a DBZ character and go outside. You will only attract the right females by doing that. Actually, their advice is better. Follow theirs ^^^^ |
 Life is a performance, and the world is full of critics. Give it your all like it's your last show. | |
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Aug 17 2010, 12:43 PM Post #9 |
 
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No offence but that is terrible advice. A closed mouth doesn't get fed. You can't expect to meet a girl if your inside your house all day wasting time on cyberspace. The world is vast and I honestly beleive that there is somebody out there for everyone, even the most awkward of us. I can't really give you any specific tips because I do not know your situation but if you find yourself lacking confidence then perhaps it's time for a change of style? Sometimes something as simple as a haircut and some new threads can make you feel better about yourself. |
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| Nusu | Aug 17 2010, 01:35 PM Post #10 |
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Piccolo Daimao > Piccolo Jr.
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Well, That with the drink line was just.. out of nowhere. If you really wanna have a girl a relationship, You donīt need any advice, Important is... be yourself donīt be a clown or an *****, Dress fine, Talk with her, Be nice, Get her number, Date her, Go with her to a picknick as said before or to a park walking outside, Important is spend time with her. Edited by Nusu, Aug 17 2010, 01:42 PM.
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Once upon a time, there used to be a signature. Then it got lame, and now I'm out of options for a new one. | |
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Aug 17 2010, 03:44 PM Post #11 |
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Okay! I have updated news for you. I was actually thinking about this thread earlier today, how you needed help and all that, and I wanted to see for myself what kind of dialogue I'd have for sure if I was interested in a certain girl. This morning I got my car inspected and then went out for breakfast in the mean time. Well it just so happens that I bump into someone I used to know back in high school named Krista. I'm going to tell you EXACTLY what happened; word for word, detail for detail, so maybe this will help you or maybe not hell I dunno. She took my order. I was like, I'll have a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit, and um, a small drink. She said, "Well if you get a medium drink and hashbrowns it's cheaper." So then I responded, "I'll do that then, if that's alright with you, pretty lady." As soon as I said that, she immediately brightened up and asked me if she knew me, and I was like "You're Krista or Krystal?" because she has a twin named Krystal. Um so yeah, then she starts going on talking about where she lives now and ***** trying to carry out a conversation with me while people are waiting in line... Now, if I were interested, though to be honest I SHOULD have anyway, just for sake of experience and helping you out... I should have asked for her phone number. She did, after all, say "My gosh I haven't talked to you in forEVER!" If I were going to get her number, I would have said "God I know, what's your number we need to start getting more 'involved!' For real!*insert rhetorical laughing*" lol But yeah it honestly wouldn't surprise me if she would have actually taken the time to write her number down as surprising as that may seem because I mean, she was going all valley girl talkative on me while on the job. So anyway. She's not my type but she is pretty and this was only just for a casual experience to help you out (as well as satisfy even my own curiosities at times). But you see how being friendly and having acquaintances made all this happen to begin with? She knew me and so she mentioned me, and that's where anything could have started especially with the interest she seemed to have in me or anyone that talked to her like that okay? You get to know a lot of people, and your chances of meeting girls you're interested in are improved by default, because 50% of the people you're getting to know generally speaking are women. Why aren't you asking any questions though? I really think I can help you out and you're not even responding to us lol |
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| * Mitas | Aug 17 2010, 11:59 PM Post #12 |
It truly was a Shawshank redemption
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I can't say much more than read all of Brian's responses. The one thing I will add is stay away from Internet dating, Chatrooms and Facebook dating. Well for now anyway. That's a last resort after you've exhausted yourself by actually going out, meeting people and talking to girls in reality. Online dating isn't going to be successful if you don't have experience talking to girls in reality because you're going to have to meet up with them at some point, and that experience is necessary. Edited by Mitas, Aug 18 2010, 12:01 AM.
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 "Then you've got the chance to do better next time." "Next time?" "Course. Doing better next time. That's what life is." | |
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| + Pelador | Aug 18 2010, 12:37 AM Post #13 |
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Crazy Awesome Legend
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I really appreciate all the advice. Some it's actually very interesting. I considered internet dating once but had to common sense to read up about it first. (Thank goodness  ) I don't use Facebook anymore either. My problem though is not really talking to girls. I'm confident enough and wise enough to do that ok. My problem is where to find them. Pubs? fast food establishments? Parks? I have no idea where a good place to meet human females is.
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http://www.youtube.com/user/jonjits | |
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Aug 18 2010, 08:48 AM Post #14 |
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Have you tried female toilets? |
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Aug 18 2010, 03:51 PM Post #15 |
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^ You are a jackass. He's asking for advice, not immature potty humor. Pun intended. Stop spamming and making a fool of yourself. You only have 27 posts and this is one of them. That means almost 4% of your posts are talking about toilets. Stop it. Hey, you don't have to have a particular place in mind, Pelador. Why don't you see if there are any kinds of places out in the world that you would enjoy going to your own self? You need to have some fun. Only live once. Think about that, and then go from there. |
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